


i don't even like you why'd you have to go and make me feel this way?

by lucasashtons



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Luke is adorable, M/M, ashton is scared to fall in love, calum is the supportive best friend in it all, michael's role is really small too, sorry michael, soulmate!AU, the malum in this is very small
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-15
Updated: 2014-10-15
Packaged: 2018-02-21 06:38:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2458484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucasashtons/pseuds/lucasashtons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>when you are born, you receive a voodoo doll that resembles your soulmate. when you eventually meet your soulmate, the doll will glow, signaling that the person you have met is indeed your soulmate. </p>
<p>Ashton hated the idea of it all</p>
            </blockquote>





	i don't even like you why'd you have to go and make me feel this way?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rocketshiptospace](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rocketshiptospace/gifts).



> based off of an anon's request on tumblr that read: _lashton soulmate au in which you sorta get a voodoo doll when you're born, but all it does is light up when you get close to the location of your soulmate. And most people just carry it around for that purpose. ___
> 
>  
> 
> _  
> _Dedicated to the anon and_[Ellie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/rocketshiptospace/profile) who is the soulmate fic queen._  
> 

It is unknown where the origins of the voodoo dolls started but their power was undeniable; after you are born you receive a doll that has the appearance your soul mate will have when they turn twenty one. No one knows who delivers them or how they arrive; they just show up randomly in the first week of birth. Some arrive once the baby has come home from the hospital, popping up in their crib over night as they sleep. Others show up in the hospital while the baby is under the care of the nurses. No one has ever witnessed when they show up or how they show up, leaving the entire ordeal a mystery.

 

They seem just like an ordinary voodoo doll; button eyes the color of your soul mate’s eyes, a stitched mouth and body, smooth fabric and cotton stuffing, but there is a power inside each and every one. While the doll takes on the appearance of your soul mate at age twenty one, they also glow when your soul mate is close, so you know for sure who your soul mate is. It’s a soft white glow that signals it, and once soul mates have met each other, the dolls seem to disappear without a trace the very next day.

 

Ashton keeps his doll on a shelf in his living room, settled right between a picture of his family and a trophy from winning regionals in swimming when he was sixteen. Sometimes he will take it down and look at it, observing its features so he knows for sure what his soul mate will look like when they turn twenty one, but for right now it never leaves the shelf. Why?

 

Ashton hated the idea of soul mates.

 

His distaste for them began when he was only two years old. He was in his room playing with his doll, mostly just having incoherent conversations with it when he heard screaming and shouting coming from downstairs. He pushed himself off of the ground, doll clutched in his hand as he walked towards the stairs and sat down on a step to see what all the commotion was.

 

His mother was in tears and screaming words Ashton didn’t understand at his father, who was yelling back words his mom told him to never say. His father’s face was red, his fists clenched at his sides and it scared the little boy. He had never seen his dad so angry before, not even when Ashton finger painted all of his important work papers. He wanted to go down there and demand that his father stop yelling at his mommy but he didn’t want to get in the middle of the argument.

 

“I’m going after her Anne!” his father spat, almost as if he didn’t notice the tears streaming down Anne’s face. “It’s finally happened; I met the one I’m actually supposed to be with and not some girl that insisted that just because our voodoo dolls didn’t look alike or glow that we could make it. Let’s face it Anne, we were never supposed to be together.” Ashton saw him grab a large suitcase, the one his father usually used for when he went on his trips for work. Where was he going?

 

“What about Ashton?” Anne cried and Ashton froze, wondering what his mother was talking about now. “You just gonna leave him here without an explanation as to why? You’re just going to walk out on a two year old who doesn’t even understand what is going on?”

 

Ashton wasn’t sure what ‘walk out on’ meant, but judging by how hard is mother was crying it was not something good. He walked down the stairs a bit more, making sure to be quiet so he could see more of what was going on. As soon as he reached the bottom step there was a door slamming and he looked up to see his father gone, Anne walking over to the couch and collapsing onto it in tears.

 

“Mommy please don’t cry,” Ashton begged, walking over to his mother and hugging her shaking form. “Why was Daddy being mean to you? He’s mean for making you sad.”

 

He heard Anne sniffled and she adjusted herself on the coach, picking the boy up and cuddling him in her arms. “Ash, when you get older you’ll understand. For right now, daddy is going away for a while, alright? We don’t know when he’s coming back or if he ever will come back, but I want you to know that he loves you.” She kissed his blonde curls and Ashton looked at the doll in his arms.

 

“Mommy, was daddy not your doll?” His mother had explained, in the best way she could to a two year old, how exactly the dolls worked. His way of understanding was this: whoever you date or marry is your doll.

 

Anne gave him a watery smile. “No, no he wasn’t Ashton, but that’s okay. I don’t need a doll to be happy, I have you.” His mother held him closer and he cuddled into her side, the grip on his doll loosening until it finally hit the carpet below the couch. His mother was right, the doll wasn’t something he needed. What he needed right now was his mother and she needed him.

 

Fast forward nineteen years and here Ashton was, lounging in his apartment watching some reality show that his roommate Calum had put on the TV. His voodoo doll rested on the shelf by the TV, staring at him with its blue button eyes as if it was taunting him. _Why did you put me up here Ash? You’re never gonna find your soul mate if you leave me up here!_

After nineteen years of staying on a shelf the doll was dusty, never once had Ashton moved it from that position. The only time he had moved it was when he finally moved out of his mother’s house and into his shared apartment with his best friend Calum, who questioned why Ashton had placed it on a shelf and avoided it almost as if it was a bomb.

 

“Don’t you want to carry it around with you?” Calum had asked the day he moved in, placing the box labeled ‘CALUM’S BEDROOM STUFF’ on the couch. “So you can find your other half? After all that is its sole purpose.”

 

Ashton frowned and placed the picture of his family next to the doll, giving it a look that Calum read as disgust. “I don’t want to find my soul mate. It’s stupid, I’m not going to let some doll decide who I’m going to fall in love with Cal.” He dusted his hands off on his skinny jeans and looked at his friend. “What about your doll? Do you carry it around to every single place you go?”

 

“Of course!” Calum chirped, pulling said doll out of the bag that was resting on the couch. “I love the idea of meeting the one because of this thing.” Calum’s doll had green buttons for the eyes and was outfitted in a black and white baseball tee and black skinny jeans. The thing that stood out most on the doll was the shock of bright red felt hair on top, making Ashton wonder if his friend’s soul mate was some kind of weirdo that dyed his hair different colors. After all, that kind of red was not exactly a natural hair color.

 

“Well I’m glad that you want to meet yours, as for me I could care less,” he picked up one of Calum’s boxes and took it to the boy’s room, placing it on the bed. “I don’t want some stupid voodoo doll to control my decisions in love. Isn’t it more exciting to just go around and love whoever you want without some doll holding you back? Tell me you don’t wish that you could just go around and love whomever you want without anything holding you back.”

 

Calum gave his friend a small smile. It wasn’t the first time Ashton had spoken to him about this. Ever since he first showed Ashton his doll back when they were in primary school he had a bitter distain for the thing. Calum had yet to get a straight answer as to why, only getting the response ‘I want to choose my own love’ and ‘Not having it around spares a broken heart’. He wondered every single day what made his friend so jaded about the entire thing.

 

He reached over Ashton for the remote and shut the television off. “Okay, you’ve been staring at your doll since breakfast, what’s wrong? Are you finally realizing that taking a chance and getting it off the shelf will make you happier in the long run?”

 

Ashton scoffed. “No, it’s nothing.” He got up off the couch and headed towards their kitchen to get a drink of milk. He lied, he was staring at the doll for a reason. He had woken up that morning with a weird feeling in his stomach as if something was telling him to get up and head to the living room. When he finally got out of bed and went there, he looked over at the shelf and noticed that his doll was, in fact, _glowing._ At first Ashton thought it was just his eyes fooling him, but even after rubbing them the doll was still glowing a soft white light, meaning his soul mate, whomever they were, was nearby.

 

“Are you sure?” Calum pressed, snatching the milk out of Ashton’s hand and chugging it from the carton. Ashton made a disgusted sound as Calum wiped his lips and handed the milk back to him. “You can tell me if something happened Ash, there’s a reason I’m your best friend and it’s not because I pay half the rent.”

 

“Nah, that is exactly the reason Cal,” Ashton replied, wiping the lid of the milk before pouring it into a glass. He shot his friend a dimply smile before chugging the milk down. “Really, I’m okay, just been thinking about some things that’s all. Nothing important I promise.” He placed the milk back in the fridge before walking over to their front door and putting his shoes on. “I think I’m gonna head to the store and get some groceries, you need anything?”

 

“Yep,” Calum walked over to the shelf and took Ashton’s voodoo doll down, wiping off the dust that had settled onto its material. “I want you to take this with you when you go. I want you to take it with you to just one place and see what happens.”

 

“And if I don’t?” Ashton didn’t like the idea of taking the doll with him, but if it got Calum to shut up about meeting ‘The One’ maybe it was worth a shot. He still despised the idea of soul mates but he never really had the chance to see what exactly everyone was so hyped up about when they carried the stupid doll around. One time couldn’t hurt, could it?

 

“Then I am going to keep pestering you about it till the day you die Irwin,” he walked towards the door and placed the doll into Ashton’s hands. The material felt rough from years of sitting on shelves and the blue buttons seemed to have lost their shine. The blond felt hair on top still fluffed up into a quiff and the small piece of metal on the mouth, the only part of the doll that was not made of fabric or felt, was still latched onto it. Ashton traced the words on the black tank the doll wore with his fingers. _YOU COMPLETE MEss,_ it read. “Please, it’s just one shopping trip. One little trip to the store with the doll won’t kill you.”

 

Ashton bit his lip, knowing there was no way of talking Calum out of it. “Fine, I’ll take it with me. If nothing happens though, I’m putting it back on the shelf and it’s never coming down again, alright?” He shrugged on his jacket and grabbed his car keys from the dish on the stool by the door. “I’ll see you later, text me if you need anything.” He shut the door behind him and glanced down at the doll before stuffing it into his messenger bag, heading down to the car garage and heading towards the grocery store.

 

*

 

**Calum:** _I need more Cheerios_

 

Ashton rolled his eyes and moved his cart towards the cereal aisle, where he had just left not even a few seconds before. For the past half hour Calum had seemed to text him little things he needed right _after_ Ashton had left the designated aisle, making him have to turn around and go back to get it. It was getting frustrating and he was sick of it. He was half tempted to text Calum that he wasn’t getting his damn Cheerios.

 

He scanned the boxes of cereal looking for the Cheerios when suddenly his messenger bag began to shine a bright light. He stopped and peeked into the bag and saw his voodoo doll shining a soft white light and his insides began to flutter. There was no way he was meeting his soul mate here in a grocery store, especially considering he was the only one currently in the cereal aisle. He zipped his bag up, the light being completely swallowed by darkness. He sighed and continued his search for the Cheerios when his cart hit something, or in fact, someone.

 

“Shit, sorry!” Ashton apologized, looking over at the person he had just hit. His mouth suddenly went dry and his heart began to race as he looked at the man in front of him, who was actually chuckling.

 

“It’s alright, you looked pretty focused on finding something,” The man reached over Ashton’s cart and snatched a box of, who would have guessed it, _Cheerios_ from the shelf. “I doubt I’ll have any life threatening injuries from it.” The man bit his lip, where a metal lip ring rested and Ashton’s heart began to beat even faster than before. _No, no this wasn’t happening no, no, no…_

“Are you alright?” the man looked at Ashton with concern but Ashton’s eyes were now focused on the man’s shopping basket, where a soft white glow was resting inside. The man seemed to follow Ashton’s gaze and lightly gasped. “Oh, um,” he took the doll from the cart, the light dimming a bit but still shining. He watched as the man did a double-take, looking from his voodoo doll to Ashton before his jaw went slack. “You.”

 

Ashton couldn’t breathe. No, this wasn’t going to happen to him. He wasn’t supposed to find his soul mate, he was supposed to be happy with living his life the way he wanted it. He wasn’t supposed to meet them he was supposed to avoid this. He looked up at the man and swallowed. “M-me?” Wow, smooth.

 

The man looked over at Ashton’s cart, noticing the zipped messenger bag. “Do you have your voodoo doll in there?” His blue eyes looked back at Ashton and he couldn’t help but trace over the stranger’s features and realizing that all of this was _real._ The hair, the lip ring, the bright blue eyes, even the tank top was spot on with the dolls. He nodded slowly, still unsure of how to handle this and explain that _hey, sorry about this but I have no desire for a soul mate because I’m afraid._

There, he admitted it to himself.

 

He didn’t want to put his trust into fate to find the one he loves. He saw how much it hurt his mother all those years ago and he didn’t want himself in that position. That’s why he messed around, didn’t stay serious with someone because he was scared to fall in love and have it all torn away. The soul mate part of it all scared him the most because that love was meant to be, and if he lost that he would feel nothing but emptiness. He didn’t want that feeling, that’s why he tried so hard to make sure he never met his soul mate.

 

Yet here he was, standing in front of him and all Ashton’s mind keeps telling him, aside from the warning signs is, _Holy shit this man is beautiful._

He walked slowly back to his cart and unzipped the messenger bag, pulling his voodoo doll out and showing it to the stranger, whose eyes widened. As soon as the two made eye contact the dolls suddenly stopped glowing, the light growing dim until finally fading away. Now Ashton could finally get a good look at the other guy’s doll and his eyes almost bulged out of his head when he noticed the resemblance.

The voodoo doll had blonde curly hair wrapped up with a black bandana, similar to the one Ashton currently had resting in his wild curls. Like Ashton is wore a ripped and torn AC/DC tee and black skinny jeans. Brownish green buttons were sewn onto the face and Ashton couldn’t believe it. They were right in front of him, the person he was meant to be with and the doll that represented him was right there in front of him with a bright smile on his face and it suddenly felt like everything Ashton had been missing in life was suddenly found.

 

“I’m Luke,” the stranger introduced himself, still smiling and standing there awkwardly. “I’m your soul mate, I guess? I mean, your voodoo doll lit up anyway so I’m guessing that you are?”

 

Ashton nodded slowly. “Y-yeah. I’m Ashton.” He looked down at his doll and back up at Luke, still amazed on how he’d finally met the living, breathing version of the voodoo doll he’d had for twenty one years. He then remembers when he woke up this morning, how his doll had been glowing then and looked back up. “Do you happen to live in the Cedar Apartments?”

 

Luke nodded. “Yeah! I actually just moved there officially this week with my friend Michael. Do you live there or something?” His voice was deep and beautiful and Ashton wanted to smack himself because he’d only known this guy for all of ten minutes and was already thinking cute things about him.

 

“Yeah, I live there with my friend Calum,” he held up his doll and shook it a bit. “My doll was glowing this morning and it confused me a bit, but now it makes sense.”

 

Luke nodded in understanding. “That actually explains a lot. Mikey was telling me this morning that he saw my doll glowing but I just figured he was bullshitting me. God he’s going to kill me when he finds out that I met my soul mate before him.”

 

Ashton suddenly found himself in a difficult position. On one hand he wanted to just trust what the dolls had done and be with Luke, finally give in to the soul mate junk he’d been avoiding ever since he saw his mother’s heart break when he was younger. Then again that was the very reason he avoided getting into this from the start; he didn’t want to risk getting hurt and end up losing it all in the end.

 

“I know this is a lot to take in,” he heard Luke say and he drew himself out of his thoughts. “Maybe we should finish up our shopping and then head back to the apartments, talk it out? You look like you have something to say and I think it’s best if you get it out.”

 

Ashton nodded. “Yeah, that sounds like a great idea.” He grabs Calum’s Cheerios off the shelf and heads towards check out with Luke, resisting the urge to grab the boy’s hand and hold it the entire way there.

 

*

Calum heard the door to the apartment open and jumped up off the couch. “So, did you meet-“he stopped at the sight of his best friend and a tall stranger entering the apartment, both of them holding their voodoo dolls. Calum gasped as he noticed the resemblances between the dolls and smiles. “I _told_ you that if you actually took the doll off the shelf you would find them!” He then noticed the expression on his friend’s face and his smile fell. “Ash.”

 

Before Ashton could get a word out Luke was speaking up. “Hey, you look exactly like my friend Mikey’s voodoo doll.”

 

Calum’s smile returned to his face. “I-I do?” he dashed off to his bedroom and grabbed his doll before running back in and holding it for Luke. It had a soft white glow on its chest and Calum felt like cheering. “Your friend look like this?”

 

Luke nodded. “Yeah! Looks exactly like Mikey!” He handed the doll back to Calum. “We live right across the hall, I’d say you go meet him.” Before Ashton could even say anything about the current situation Calum was out the door, slamming it behind him. Luke was chuckling to himself. “Mikey is going to be so happy once he sees your friend. What’s his name?”

 

“Calum, but that’s not what we’re discussing right now,” Ashton walked over to the kitchen and opened the fridge to start putting groceries away. “Do you want anything to drink? I have milk, I just bought some more cranberry juice…”

 

“I’ll have some cranberry juice, thank you.” Luke replied and Ashton got a couple of glasses and to pour the juice in. He handed Luke his glass and continued to put away the groceries before taking his glass and chugging the juice down.  Where was he going to start with this conversation? He wasn’t too sure on telling Luke the entire story, having just met him, but considering this was his soul mate…

 

“Have a seat on the couch,” Ashton gestured towards the living room and the two of them walked over and sat down on the loveseat, placing their glasses down on the coffee table in front of them. “Um, so I have something to say about the whole soul mates thing, and I understand if you get mad at me but I just want you to know this before anything happens.” Off of Luke’s confused nod he takes a deep breath and starts.

 

“My mom and dad were not each other’s soul mates. Both of them had dolls that looked nothing like each other, but they ended up falling in love anyway. They eventually had me and when I was two years old my dad ended up finding his soul mate and walked out on us to be with her and have a family with her. I’ve never heard from him since.

 

“Ever since the day he left I’ve watched as my mother was heartbroken over it and she eventually just buried her voodoo doll under her bed and never touched it. She had given up on soul mates and after seeing everything that happened between her and my dad, so did I.

 

“I’ve had my voodoo doll sit on a shelf for nineteen years, terrified of taking it down and letting myself meet my soul mate. I didn’t like the idea of fate. I didn’t want some stupid doll deciding for me who I was gonna end up with in the end. I wanted to make that decision myself. In fact, I didn’t want to find anyone at all. I had trained myself to be content with being alone and having nothing but casual flings every now and then. Love was pointless to me after seeing what it did to my mother.

 

“This morning, I woke up to see my doll glowing on the shelf. At first I thought it was just the sunlight hitting it but then I realized that no, my soul mate was nearby and whether I liked it or not I was going to meet them eventually. Calum forced me to take it grocery shopping with me today because he was sick of me sitting here complaining about how stupid the entire thing was. So I took it and then I met you and,” he paused and looked at Luke, whose expression was unreadable. “Now I don’t know what to think. Now that I’ve actually met my soul mate, I just don’t know what to think anymore.”

 

He felt a cold hand touch his and suddenly his fingers were intertwined with Luke’s. “I understand, being afraid to fall in love with someone because of what you witnessed your mom going through. I get that. I’ve been terrified of meeting you ever since I learned about the purpose of the voodoo dolls, and when I first laid eyes on you today in the store I was taken aback by the fact that it was finally happening. I understand if you need time to think about this, to see if you are ready for a relationship with your soul mate, and I’ll wait for you. I won’t force you to be in this if you don’t want to be.”

 

Ashton’s hazel eyes met with Luke’s blue ones and at that moment Ashton felt happy. Here was this boy, willing to wait for him even though they had just met, and Ashton was actually considering listening to his stupid head that kept shouting out the warning signs. He had spent nineteen years preventing himself from being happy all because of his father’s actions and now looking at Luke’s beautiful smile and his ocean eyes, he couldn’t understand why.

 

He leaned forward, inching close to Luke’s face and let his lips lightly brush the other boy’s. “Is it alright if I kiss you?”

 

Luke nodded. “Y-yeah, that’s alright.”

 

Ashton licked his lips and slowly pressed his lips to Luke’s and it was as if suddenly it all became clear. This is what having a soul mate felt like; kissing Luke felt safe, warm, and relaxing. His heart wasn’t beating against his chest and his stomach didn’t erupt in butterflies. This was true love and true love felt calm and collected. He no longer had the fear of being hurt in his mind because Luke had erased all that just by a simple kiss.

 

He pulled back and rested his forehead on Luke’s, letting out a breath at the sight of Luke’s wide smile. “You have a really beautiful smile.”

 

Luke blushed and Ashton wanted to kiss him again it was so adorable. “Thank you. Did um, that help you figure anything out?”

 

Ashton nodded. “I don’t want to hold back anymore. I think I’m ready to be with my soul mate.” He cupped Luke’s face and pressed his lips against his again and relished in the feeling of safety and security again, almost missing the sound of the apartment door opening and Calum walking in.

 

“Yeah Luke get it!” an unknown voice chimed and Ashton pulled away from the blond and saw a boy standing by the door with Calum. He couldn’t help but smile when he noticed the bright red color of his hair and the tattoo bands around his arm, just like Calum’s voodoo doll.

 

Luke blushed and turned to the boy. “ _Michael,”_ he whined in embarrassment and Ashton chuckled. “This is the friend I was telling you about.”

 

“He’s my soul mate Ash,” Calum chimed in, holding up Michael’s voodoo doll, which, indeed, resembled Calum perfectly. “We both finally met our soul mates, can you believe it? And to think, you never would have met yours if I hadn’t forced you to take it with you.”

 

Ashton gives his best friend a smile before wrapping his arms around the neck of his soul mate and kissing him sweetly. Yeah, he was pretty grateful that Calum had forced him to take his doll with him.

 

And for the first time in nineteen years, Ashton started to love the idea of soul mates.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> check me out on tumblr at lucasashtons :)


End file.
